Delay is not Denial
Have you ever started something new, and developed a plan about how it should go? But as you progress, events happen that you didn’t expect and they end up derailing your plan.
In the pursuit of my masters degree and as I complete my residency, I’ve been held back by many things. I lost relationships, jobs, and family members which forced me to take semesters off and delay my graduation. Fast forward to 2020; I was clocking major clinical hours and then BOOM💥💥💥CORONAVIRUS!!
When my plans go awry, I tend to question so much, especially my purpose. This breeds uncertainty and doubt, which develops into significant anxiety.
I had to have several “come to Jesus” moments, in which I was reminded that a delay does not mean denial. Time lost does not mean that God is saying “no”, but that He has to prepare us for what is next to come. I needed to be sat down in order to learn and grow. And furthermore, I needed to be reminded of WHO is in control of my destiny.
“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” -Proverbs 16:9 NLT
Be encouraged loves, God knows how each of our stories will end. 🧡
Feeding fear LESS...what does that mean?
Fear is an emotional state that every living thing experiences from time to time. Humans tend to experience fear when we believe that something poses a threat to our safety. And in response, we either "fight or flight", which means we stand up to the perceived threat, or we run. Responses to fear are adaptive mechanisms that seek to prolong our lives. But what happens when we respond with fear to everything that we encounter?
An example can be a high school graduate that receives several college acceptance letters, but because she is fearful of "choosing wrong", she fails to choose at all. Instead of taking a risk, she chose to "feed" her fear. When we "feed" our fear, self-doubt increases and begins to paralyze us. This fear causes us to shrink or hide. The fear can grow when we impose unrealistic standards of perfection on ourselves. This fear can also manifest into a mental illness - anxiety. The fear becomes so big, that we begin to second guess every thought, opportunity, idea...do you see where I'm going with this?
In order to live the way God intended - empowered, loved, and of sound mind - we have to fight the urge daily to feed our fear. You know the ones I'm talking about: fear of failure...fear that makes us settle for less than we deserve...fear of people's opinions..fear that keeps us from exercising faith. I could go on, but I think you get the point. So that we do not become slaves to our fears, we must choose to feed them less and less often because whatever we “feed” will grow. You may be wondering, "Ok...but how?" The answer is to "feed" the opposite emotion or thought instead. Sounds simple enough, right? Let's go back to the example of the high school graduate; let's say she she chooses a college, and instead of focusing on whether or not it was "the right one", she just celebrates the fact that she made a choice? Or to simplify it more, instead of constantly thinking "what if I fail?", you consider the opposite..."what if I succeed?"
Pushing past our fears is how we feed fear LESS!