Don’t Forget to Take Care of You

When I scroll through my social media, I tend to see many people prioritizing their physical health over their mental health.  They have an exercise regimen, they count calories, wear waist trainers, drink flat tummy tea, and do whatever else under the sun to improve their physical health.  Taking care of one's physical health without question is a great thing: positive weight management, improved cardiovascular health, looking better in one's clothes, and in some cases increased confidence.  Can you imagine what would happen if more people treated their mental health the same way as their physical health?  Mental health has the same importance, if not more than our physical health; however, it doesn’t seem valued in that way. 

While participating in a wellness summit, a colleague stated that "our minds are the one muscle that we do not regularly exercise."  Mental health is important because if your mind is not functioning at its optimal level, then it will begin to show up in other areas of your life, especially in the body.  Think about this, if you were to have frequent chest pains, would you sit at home and just wait for it to get better or would you seek medical attention?  Taking care of our minds and overall mental health deserves the same priority as our physical health. Doing so improves our ability to withstand life's stressors and whatever else life throws at us.  Too often, I meet people who have placed their mental health on the back-burner and seek help only after their overall ability to function has all but come to a screeching halt.  Some examples of what this may look like, is not being interested in spending time with loved ones or friends, calling out of work, inability to accomplish simple tasks or work, sleeping a lot or hardly not at all, over-eating or under-eating, and not engaging in activities you normally enjoy - the effects will vary from person to person. 

We tend to move through our days almost unconsciously, as if on autopilot. Undeniably, life happens and stress is a natural occurrence in our lives.  Stress has negative connotations, but essentially, it’s how our bodies respond to changes.  We encounter some form of "change" daily that whether you realize or not affects you greatly.  Some major life changes such as issues in marriage, new birth, job loss, the death of a loved one, and unprecedented events – like for instance the pandemic – can really change you.  For example, there have been increased rates of diagnosable mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse as a result.

So how do you cope with it all?

How then, do we "exercise" our minds to promote better mental health and well-being?  The key simply is stress management, which is finding ways to relieve stress through physical and psychological means.  Two methods of stress management which have garnered much attention in recent years are self-care and attending therapy.  Self-care is when a person makes a conscious act to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health by using chosen coping skills.  Additionally, going to therapy has great benefits and does not automatically involve the presence of a mental disorder.  Many people attend therapy to manage things like their current phases of life, unpack traumas, discuss relationship roadblocks, and/or navigate career transitions. 

Methods of self-care are not universal; nor should they be. For example, I enjoy walking in nature, being by water, and sometimes disconnecting in brief stints from the outside world to maintain and improve my mental health. Your methods, should be tailored to what works best for you. 

So, I encourage you to find and use positive methods that work for you, and to consider pursuing therapy if you don't know where to start.  Because the world and most importantly, YOU - deserve your best version of yourself. Don’t forget to take care of you inside and out…

Blessings,

Paula 

Self-Care and Wellness

April is Counseling Awareness Month, and one of the focuses was on the importance of self-care. Self-care is a very necessary, often neglected aspect of many counselor’s lives. Because we spend our days caring for others, it is easy to forget to care for ourselves. Self-care is when a person decides to makes a conscious act to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health.  Self-care is routine, it is the activities you do to maintain your wellness on a regular basis.

I recently had the opportunity to serve as a panelist on a wellness summit, and it was a great experience! Ironically, some of the topics that we talked about were how our physical health impacts our mental health, stress management, and….you guessed it: SELF-CARE. Self-care will look different for everyone. For example, I like to go for walks in nature daily, get massages monthly, and spend time alone to recharge among other things. But, I have friends who enjoy a daily bike ride, running, playing video games, getting their hair and nails done, and cooking a new meal. Self-care is not a “one-size-fit-all” type of thing; you should find and do things that make a positive impact on how you feel.

One of the big takeaways from my participation in the wellness summit was that constantly striving, achieving, and working without making time for rest can be counterproductive to overall health. We should add taking care of ourselves to our “to-do” lists.

I am a big advocate for managing my health through self-care methods because I know all to well how negatively stress can affect me. If you are a person who is constantly “moving and shaking”, then self-care is important for you too! It doesn’t matter if you are a health care professional, or an accountant…you deserve to feel and be well!

Feeding fear LESS...what does that mean?

Fear is an emotional state that every living thing experiences from time to time. Humans tend to experience fear when we believe that something poses a threat to our safety. And in response, we either "fight or flight", which means we stand up to the perceived threat, or we run. Responses to fear are adaptive mechanisms that seek to prolong our lives. But what happens when we respond with fear to everything that we encounter?

An example can be a high school graduate that receives several college acceptance letters, but because she is fearful of "choosing wrong", she fails to choose at all. Instead of taking a risk, she chose to "feed" her fear. When we "feed" our fear, self-doubt increases and begins to paralyze us. This fear causes us to shrink or hide. The fear can grow when we impose unrealistic standards of perfection on ourselves. This fear can also manifest into a mental illness - anxiety. The fear becomes so big, that we begin to second guess every thought, opportunity, idea...do you see where I'm going with this?

In order to live the way God intended - empowered, loved, and of sound mind - we have to fight the urge daily to feed our fear. You know the ones I'm talking about: fear of failure...fear that makes us settle for less than we deserve...fear of people's opinions..fear that keeps us from exercising faith. I could go on, but I think you get the point. So that we do not become slaves to our fears, we must choose to feed them less and less often because whatever we “feed” will grow. You may be wondering, "Ok...but how?" The answer is to "feed" the opposite emotion or thought instead. Sounds simple enough, right? Let's go back to the example of the high school graduate; let's say she she chooses a college, and instead of focusing on whether or not it was "the right one", she just celebrates the fact that she made a choice? Or to simplify it more, instead of constantly thinking "what if I fail?", you consider the opposite..."what if I succeed?"

Pushing past our fears is how we feed fear LESS!